Twelve Days Of Christmas On The Railroad

December 19, 2006

One of our readers (a keen model railroading enthusiast) sent this to me and asked that I share it with other model railroaders this Christmas. I’m sure it will raise a smile!

On the first day of Christmas my railroad gave to me; one junk freight with zero point two horsepower per ton.

On the second day of Christmas, my railroad gave to me; two grouchy dispatchers with trains in every hole; and one junk freight with zero point two horsepower per ton.

On the third day of Christmas, my railroad gave to me; three lousy Yardmasters ducking behind a window sill; two grouchy dispatchers with trains in every hole; and one junk freight with zero point two horsepower per ton.

On the fourth day of Christmas, my railroad gave to me; four railroad managers hiding in the weeds; three lousy Yardmasters ducking behind a window sill; two grouchy dispatchers with trains in every hole; and one junk freight with zero point two horsepower per ton.

On the fifth day of Christmas, my railroad gave to me; five Form B’s joint with other trains; four railroad managers hiding in the weeds; three lousy Yardmasters ducking behind a window sill; two grouchy dispatchers with trains in every hole; and one junk freight with zero point two horsepower per ton.

On the sixth day of Christmas, my railroad gave to me; six slow orders, all ten miles an hour; five Form B’s joint with other trains; four railroad managers hiding in the weeds; three lousy Yardmasters ducking behind a window sill; two grouchy dispatchers with trains in every hole; and one junk freight with zero point two horsepower per ton.

On the seventh day of Christmas, my railroad gave to me; seven broken rails to keep it entertaining; six slow orders, all ten miles an hour; five Form B’s joint with other trains; four railroad managers hiding in the weeds; three lousy Yardmasters ducking behind a window sill; two grouchy dispatchers with trains in every hole; and one junk freight with zero point two horsepower per ton.

On the eighth day of Christmas, my railroad gave to me; eight broken crossings that need to be flagged; seven broken rails to keep it entertaining; six slow orders, all ten miles an hour; five Form B’s joint with other trains; four railroad managers hiding in the weeds; three lousy Yardmasters ducking behind a window sill; two grouchy dispatchers with trains in every hole; and one junk freight with zero point two horsepower per ton.

On the ninth day of Christmas, my railroad gave to me; nine cars on the ground, dragged through the ties and two switches; eight broken crossings that need to be flagged; seven broken rails to keep it entertaining; six slow orders, all ten miles an hour; five Form B’s joint with other trains; four railroad managers hiding in the weeds; three lousy Yardmasters ducking behind a window sill; two grouchy dispatchers with trains in every hole; and one junk freight with zero point two horsepower per ton.

On the tenth day of Christmas, my railroad gave to me; ten misroutes, that have to be set out at the nearest side track; nine cars on the ground, dragged through the ties and two switches; eight broken crossings that need to be flagged; seven broken rails to keep it entertaining; six slow orders, all ten miles an hour; five Form B’s joint with other trains; four railroad managers hiding in the weeds; three lousy Yardmasters ducking behind a window sill; two grouchy dispatchers with trains in every hole; and one junk freight with zero point two horsepower per ton.

On the eleventh day of Christmas, my railroad gave to me; eleven lazy pool engineers, all laid off sick; ten misroutes, that have to be set out at the nearest side track; nine cars on the ground, dragged through the ties and two switches; eight broken crossings that need to be flagged; seven broken rails to keep it entertaining; six slow orders, all ten miles an hour; five Form B’s joint with other trains; four railroad managers hiding in the weeds; three lousy Yardmasters ducking behind a window sill; two grouchy dispatchers with trains in every hole; and one junk freight with zero point two horsepower per ton.

On the twelfth day of Christmas, my railroad gave to me; twelve P.O.’ed crews, all stuck away from home; eleven lazy pool engineers, all laid off sick; ten misroutes, that have to be set out at the nearest side track; nine cars on the ground, dragged through the ties and two switches; eight broken crossings that need to be flagged; seven broken rails to keep it entertaining; six slow orders, all ten miles an hour; five Form B’s joint with other trains; four railroad managers hiding in the weeds; three lousy Yardmasters ducking behind a window sill; two grouchy dispatchers with trains in every hole; and one junk freight with zero point two horsepower per ton.

Happy railroading and happy Christmas to all!